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How jealousy can ruin your relationship

The truth is that jealousy is not necessarily a "wrong" emotion. A little bit of jealousy is normal and a sign of a healthy relationship. It means that the one you love is so special to you that you want no-one else to have the same level of meaning to him or to her that you have (especially sexually), because no-one else can replace them in your heart.

If anyone is in a committed relationship and has never felt a pang of jealousy here or there, that could actually mean that the relationship really isn't that valuable to him or to her!.

However, every relationship has to be built on trust. When one person starts feeling jealous all the time and clearly for no good reason, this is when jealousy becomes obsessive and potentially very harmful.

Here are three ways in which jealousy can ruin your relationship.

  1. Jealousy as a mask for a lack of confidence in oneself. Women often fall into this trap, although men do, too. Men have a tendency to look at other attractive women. However, the truth is that most men who are in committed relationships honestly don't care about anything else except that-just looking. Imagine if a man's woman always thinks that he is actually looking for another sexual relationship, though. This is usually really a sign that the woman does not find herself attractive or sexy enough. She is jealous of his "roving eyes" in truth because she is afraid that he would rather be with someone else. She has to find the way to become more self-confident and realize that he is actually with her for a reason.
  2. Jealousy as a trust issue. We may become obsessively jealous if we truly suspect our lover is not trustworthy-maybe we think we have good reason to suspect them of having a secret affair. If you are feeling jealous because of this root cause, you must communicate with your lover about it. If s/he turns out to really not be trustworthy, you will have to leave the relationship.
  3. Jealousy as a mask for a control freak. Some people are actually obsessed with control over the other person in a relationship. They feel jealous only because the other person has a life! The other person has other friends and has some activities that s/he likes to do, or has to do, alone. This is a sign of a very unhealthy relationship, or an unhealthy individual.

Jealousy in an intimate relationship is typically a healthy sign that you really love the other person. But you must never let it get obsessive. If you are feeling obsessively jealous, communicate this clearly with your lover so that you can give yourself peace of mind or find out that you need to leave the relationship.

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