It all starts with self worth. The way you see yourself is how other people will see you, will treat you. Why? Because how you see yourself is how you will project yourself to other people. And when it comes to relationships, there must be a balance between self worth and love for the other.
But what if it gets too much? On those nights that you weep in silence and on those mornings that you try to hide your puffy eyes. Your eyes used to sparkle, your smile? Beaming. You used to feel giddy and silly and happy. What happened?
Life happened, dear. People and things change, everything does. But despite that, you hold on, you fight for the relationship, you refuse to let go. That is commendable, that makes you a strong individual. A person so beautiful and selfless enough to put someone over the self. A person who just loves, who trusted and hoped for hugs and kisses and love in return. And in some unfortunate way, the person you love turned into someone you don’t know anymore, someone who makes you feel used and unwanted. The person who put you on a pedestal, who expressed love for you so fervently then now makes you feel like a worthless person. What happened?
Love is sacrificing, yes. But there are limits and breaking points where you either stay or go. Moments that would either break you or break you, it is now a matter of which is the lesser evil, which would hurt less. Think about all those times that you suffered in silence. Those times that you shared your hearts burden to the person you love, but like everything, it was left ignored and unheard.
Remember those nights that you waited on the dinner table until the food becomes cold, those nights that you see happy couples and you have to immediately draw in strength from yourself just so your eyes would remain dry, those nights that you blamed yourself. Feel the gripping pain in your heart as you listen to the songs that reminded you of happy days and to the songs that talk about your pain, remember the times that you hoped and said Maybe this time, things will be better. But they never did. Think about all those things and think about the happy days.
Think about how he made you feel special on random moments and how he used to sing for you. Read his love letters, his texts and posts on Facebook. Believe when he says I love you. And beat yourself up the next day because you believed. Give him another chance, like all the other previous chances you gave him. And watch him ruin it all over again. Then be happy again. Then be crushed again. Until you run out of bandages to fix your broken heart.
How will you know if enough is enough? How long do you hold on to abusive relationships? How many apologies and reconciliations are needed before you finally say its over? How long will you believe on unhealthy relationships that ruin you more and more everyday? How long will you have to go through so much pain when in the first place, you know you could have something better. When will you reclaim your self worth?
Abusive relationships are downward spirals. There are relationship issues that could be talked over and fixed and there are also cases that the relationship in itself is already the problem. You can never make a relationship work alone, it is always a two way street.
Know your worth. Choose Happiness.
Know that you have all the right in the world to be happy.
Know that there are so many people out there who will love you, who love you. If only you will give them a chance.
Know that you need to give yourself a chance. Give happiness a chance.
Never forget that you are a beautiful person. A person who deserves so much better. A person who can still pursue that dream, who still have so many options. There are so many people who are willing to help you and save you from abusive relationships. You can still start a new and move forward. Be open to life. Live life and please, love yourself.