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Counseling: When to Seek Expert Help For Relationships problems


Change begins within. Committing to take the step to seek expert help for relationship problems can ultimately change the course of a troubled relationship.  Deciding to try and salvage the relationship is not always an easy choice.  However, if both parties agree that they want the relationship to continue, relationship counseling is a good choice.


Every relationship has its ups and downs.  However, if problems persist over extended periods of time it can be detrimental to the relationship. Knowing when to seek help is sometimes cloudy.


Feeling compelled to change who you are as a person is a good indicator that you need to seek relationship counseling. If there is constant pressure to be someone you are not can leaving you feel inadequate and promote low self-esteem.  This, in turn, can cause stressors and negative behavior that may cause a sense of constant chaos.  Being true to yourself is important in any aspect of life. Pretending to be someone you are not to prevent an argument is unhealthy and eventually will destroy any chance of recovering.


If you are simply unhappy in the relationship but are having difficulty deciding what is making you unhappy, then counseling is a good choice.  Sometimes being in the front line of relationship that is in disarray can cloud your judgment.  Having a neutral party like a relationship counselor to listen and interpret problems can help clear your mind.  It is difficult sometimes to see the other person’s point of view. Most people will pull out their own defense mechanisms such as denial to protect themselves emotionally. The counselor can assist in working through those by various counseling techniques.


Verbally or physically abusive relationships usually do not get any better without professional help.  In fact, most abusive relationships are progressive.  There are rules to fighting fair and if those rules have been violated in any way, even just one time, it is time to seek help for the relationships problems.  Feeling as if you have to agree with your partner because you are afraid is unhealthy and unstable.  Living in constant fear that your partner is going to blow up at any given time can leave you emotionally scarred.   Both parties have to agree to counseling; otherwise it is best to completely end the relationship.


Relationship counseling is a good way to clear up any unresolved matters that may linger from the past.  It is difficult sometimes, to let go of mistakes and move forward with your partner.  Feelings of distrust can have a negative impact on both parties.  Expert help can help you discover the reasons for not letting go. 
Counselors can teach couples healthy ways to communicate and exercises to communicate effectively.  This is a great way to get back on track and finally have a healthy, happy relationship that you both deserve.     

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